Thursday, June 19, 2014

Hitting the Ground

Listen to Hitting the Ground

In life we do all sorts of things to try and remember. Tattoos, holidays, birthdays, "to do" lists, anniversaries, pictures on the wall, routines, journals, blogs, art, music, history classes. Really, we would be pretty useless humans if we didn't remember and appreciate our pasts. Both on an individual and societal level, we remember things for a reason.

In the beginning of scripture there's a group of people. They had many ways of remembering the things God had done for them. One of which was making stone altars. These altars were monuments in physical places where something great had been done for them, or shown to them. These stones were tangible, would be there for a long time, and the writing carved into them would be hard to change. Then when they were travelling past this place, they could teach their children on what God had done for them in this place, how they had experienced the divine. Pretty cool in my opinion.

The stones in this song are a reference to those monuments in my own life. The times I have experienced the divine. The times I have received direction and purpose. The times I have experienced the greatest instances of life and love.

The song is a sad one, in that I never hear these stones hitting the ground. Its a lament for the moments in life I act sinful or cruel despite the many instances in life I have been shown and experienced goodness. Despite knowing how to love I don't always choose it. It seems the more I grow and exerience, the more stones I throw deep into my soul, I never really learn.

It's important in life to regret things you've done, but it's equally as important to not stay there. Guilt can cripple. The message of forgiveness is life to me. That I don't have to be defined by what I've done. The second verse is a pretty blatant turning to God for refuge. Despite my failings, he is still the bed beaneath my body where I find rest. His words are life. His invitation to imagine a better world is still open. My actions cannot stop God for drawing me in. He wrote his forgivenes on the flesh of his son.

Though these mountains should crumble and throw themselves to the heart of the deep blue sea
I know where my feet stand, and I won't lose my ground
The wind always seems to be blowing in the wrong direction
Just a glimpse of you is all I need

We tell people to say what we should've said
We tell people to do what we wished we'd done
We throw piles of rocks into the deepest part of our souls
But I still can't hear those rocks hitting the ground

You are the bed beaneath my body where I find rest
You hold the words of life where else can I turn
We get our hands dirty painting the world as it should be
You, you draw me in

We tell people to say what we should've said
We tell people to do what we wished we'd done
We throw piles of rocks into the deepest part of our souls
But I still can't hear those rocks hitting the ground

Oh but I still, can't hear those rocks hitting the ground
Hitting the ground

Monday, June 9, 2014

Today

I was quite moved this weekend on the importance of "today".

It was a pleasure to hear my old youth pastor talk. He is now pastoring in Prince Rupert. I still see the same conviction and excellent words I remember being passed onto me in my early teens. The climax of the sermon scripture was the passage in Joshua chapter 24.
"Choose today whom you will serve! Whether the gods which your fathers worshiped that were beyond the river, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve Jehovah."

Today. Today is an important day because it is right now. It is not focussing on what you have done, or on what you had plans to do. Today is the day that is directly and quickly impacted by the choices you make. You can guess at tomorrows, and fret or relish in the past, but those are all interpreted under the lens of today. You can be who you weren't yesterday. In fact yesterday shouldn't have a strong hold on who you can be today, unless it is a foundation you wish to be builiding upon.

In the book, The Sacredness of Questioning Everything, there was a quote I read as I drove home. A woman desribed her life as a "history of horrors". Her friend wrote back to her, "you are not a history of horrors. The meaning of redemption is that you do not have to be your history. Nothing is plainer to me than that you are not your history."

You do not have to be your history. The chains we wear, which are often good things, dont have to bind us. Our house, wealth, savings account, dogs, comfort, vices, self-hate don't have to be in our today decisions.
Nothing is ever that simple... or is it? I often find myself in self-reflection being drawn to Jesus' question to a man, "do you want to be healed?"
Do I want to throw off my sickness? My comfortable, easy to manage, comfortable plagues? My lifestyles of living that I know are wrong, but fit so well.

Anyways, this weekend I was encouraged about today. While my "history of horrors" may be small, and frankly not very scary, in comparison to others, I live in fear often enough to need that truth, "you are not a history of horrors. You are redeemed and you do not have to be your history."

Choose today whom you will serve. What we do is never not worship. What are you ascribing worth to?

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Seeing Eye to Eye

 Listen to Seeing Eye to Eye 

Just a shallow song about missing out on a girl. Music is often a way of processing my emotions, as much as I hate the fact I have to feel some of them. I suppose the second verse is me trying to redeem the instinctual displeasure of a man swooping down on this girl.

Would real love correct me. Direct my ways, correct my gaze. Would I be a better student as I learn what it takes to put in the time and effort to grow real fruit.

Perhaps this is what all petitions and prayers are. A showcase of what is wrong and a picture painted of something more beautiful. It is one thing to cry out. It is a blessing if you can begin the process of imagining a better future.

I think if I have learned anything over the years of liking girls, it is that I generally fall pretty hard. I have always seen this is a curse, but I suppose someday in the right moment it will be the greatest gift I can give.

I should note, the girl with no eyes is happily married to an excellent man.
 

We Might See Eye to Eye

We might see eye to eye if you had any eyes at all
Id coerce you to love me if I had a less feeble mind
But I'm afraid I can't see past the end of my arm
So when I see him with her I just assume he better understands your eyes

Love is patient love is kind it is not jealous or proud
Selfless love, unfailing love I am a dissapointing student
Direct my ways correct my gaze so I dont miss it
Fruit takes its time, love takes its sweet sweet time