Monday, September 8, 2014

"Turns out I'm normal"

"I told the doctor I was overtired, anxiety-ridden, compulsively active, constantly depressed, with recurring fits of paranoia. Turns out I'm normal." Jules Feiffer

I've been having a down past few days. I wanted to share because while social media excels at letting us portray ourselves as we would love to be, I think we lose alot of humanity in only portraying the more extraorindary parts of ourselves or our days. The truth is, anxiety is as real as the wonderful lunches or sunsets I post pictures of, and depression is sometimes as much a part of my life as smiling selfies. I think we do each other a disservice in our perfect presentations because it makes us feel less than normal if we cannot live in this bubbly state of doing well.

The truth is there were moments today I didn't really feel like existing. A friend of mine once mentioned that he liked it when it was raining outside because he felt as if that was a better reflection of how he felt than the summer sun. It was like the world was a foreign experience to him until the clouds rolled in, because living in that shadow is what he knew more often than not. I don't think thats a good place to live in, but I can understand it.

I have good friends and family. I have wonderful people I can talk to. I have a loving God who shows me grace when I satisfy my anxieties in unhealthy ways. This isn't a plea for help. Just acknowledgement that I feel this way sometimes, and its normal if you do too.

So, to anyone who struggles to find hope some days save the hope that one day they can hope again, it passes.

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