Birth and Death

Last night was wonderful.

After 160km the day before, we were able to make it to Edmonton pedalling a measly 98km :) Dad and I stayed at the Coast hotel downtown. I don't know that I have ever fallen asleep so quickly in my life.
He took me out to "The Burg" just around the corner for an amazing pre-birthday birthday meal. It was spectacular. I had a bison burger with maple syrup and saskatoon berry ketchup. Saskatoon-freaking-berry ketchup! With yam fries, a good pint of Guiness, and, because no matter how much I consume I will not gain an ounce on this trip, finished off with cheesecake. Highly recommended.

Many people we met that found out we were a father-son duo gave us comments like, "that's so great!" or "that's really valuable". And it is both those things. My dad and I have just naturally sort of started an annual adventure trip. It made my first week alot easier to see someone in more physical pain than myself :), to draft behind in the wind, to talk with at night, and to pray with in the mornings. Plus it will now make my two man tent (which is a generous assessment) seem like a penthouse suite at the Ritz. So, thanks dad, I love you and look forward to our next adventure.

We did some reading of scripture this morning and sort of both started crying. Or, sweating from the eyes as men do. I don't know where they came from exactly, but its the same feeling I've had multiple times in my life.

The same sort of tears when I left my mom a week ago.
When my sister was leaving for Australia engaged to a man I didn't know.
At the wedding of a good friend and mentor before he left the country.

I think they're the tears of change. Moments when you realize things aren't, or aren't going to be, the same after this event. Every new birth comes with some sort of death. You can't move somewhere, start a relationship, accept a new belief, or go on a long trip without something being lost in the process. It's OK to mourn death, but its not OK if you never believe what is born will grow up strong. It's alot easier for me to look back on life than to imagine a future one.

As I prepared for this trip, and now that I am 800km into it, one reality that struck me is this: I can do whatever the heck I want. Change careers, go on long trips, live as a hermit, climb everest, eat my socks... not that I want to most of those things... but I shouldnt let my chronic overcommitment to things, or perhaps just a fear of death of those things I find comforting, restrain me.

I'll close with a song I have written but haven't had a chance to play outside my bedroom yet. It deals with a bit of that brith-death goodness.

Be hopeful friends, mourn death but don't forget to celebrate birth. What is being born in your life?

I didnt things would change even with that ring on her finger
And his presence at our family barbeques
I didn't think twice that it might not carry on like this, best of friends and summer kids
Leaving lesser things for greater conversation
Then it hit one day at church with your booked flights and packed bags and holding hands and starry gaze
And oh my God, where are you going
Where are you going

It's dangerous putting people up on the pedastel cuz don't you know even the giants fall
If you push real hard
I didn't hear a crash cuz I guess you just got moved over a bit out of the country and joined at the hip
To the best that can be found
I didn't realize til I was at the back of the wedding hall, breaking down in the bathroom stall
Crying cuz you were going
You were going

And I'm not saying things ended up wrong or that I wish this pain not on me
Just saying with every birth there's some death and we all end up buried some days
You don't know the inside of the coffin until the nails are hammered home
Our celestial lives answer to burning flesh and breaking bone

I can't live without this dying
I can't live without this death
There are many last breaths in this life won't you suck em all in
There are many last breaths in this life won't you suck em all in