Almost

https://derekjoyce.bandcamp.com/track/almost

I still remember getting the phone call. Shannon had left for Australia for her 3^rd year nursing practicum on exchange. A man had entered her life not long earlier. That man had proposed to her and she said yes. It was great to see her happy. She called, mid afternoon in the summer. We cried on the phone as she told me her fiancé had slept with a prostitute. From the first phone call with her, I remember my sister asking the question: “what does forgiveness look like?” 

Who deserves forgiveness? Does this man? How deep does hurt have to run before you can justifiably be bitter? And if you can be justifiably bitter, why would you be? Forgiveness is healing. For this man, for my precious sister. Where would she be if she had never asked that question? What has unforgiveness cost you?

And for myself, who am I to cast blame? I think the more I live the more I learn what I am capable of, and it frightens me. My thoughts aren’t far from this man’s sin. If forgiveness cannot be spared for this man, then where can I find mine? If my God does not ask the same question my sister asks, then I am ruined.

The almost wedding. I am grateful that he confessed, that she is not married to this man. I am grateful that she is currently in a relationship with a man who encourages and spurs her on to be the best she can be. As the years progress, it is also a story of the goodness of God despite times we would rather not experience. As with most valleys we go through in life, as my sister has said, “I would not change that experience.”

For Shannon Joyce, a woman of strong wisdom and character. A woman close to God’s heart of love and forgiveness. My sister.

It was an almost wedding

Not quite but almost, not quite but almost

He could have lied his way through, lied his way through, lied his way through

Til she’d said I do

But how close was almost

When he took to the streets

How close was almost

When he takes back the ring

You’re not who I thought you were not even almost, not even almost

Its hard forgiving the almost, when he had you so close

He drew you so close

But blood had to be shed for the almost

Or I’d have the furthest to fall, I’d be a pillar of salt

You’re not who I thought you were not even almost, not even almost